Where do I begin?

This journey started months ago...years ago, if we are getting technical.  I'll start with my blog title.  A few weeks ago, I had lunch with my great aunt (on my dad's side) who has also been diagnosed and healed from breast cancer.  Unlike me, she is very secure in her faith and knows that Jesus has healed her.  I'm a little more skeptical, but my cousin (her daughter) gave me a book to read during this journey called 365 Days of Healing.    I've been trying to read it daily and the gist I'm getting so far is what I say or think affects my healing.  So I've decided to attempt to stop saying, in my head and otherwise, phrases like "I have breast cancer."  This is difficult for me, especially considering this isn't my first rodeo (thyroid cancer last year and skin cancer 14 years ago).  But I'm working on it.  I am not naive enough to think that this journey will be easy, but I'm hoping a shift in perspective will help.  I mean, no matter your faith, who doesn't want to be healed?  Who doesn't want to do everything they can to be healed?  I'm on the healing bandwagon.  That's for sure. 

So between the things I am learning and internalizing from the book and the multiple appointments I have had in the past few months, I started to think that I needed to start writing again.  I wrote a lot when my son was born at 28 weeks and it was a very healing process for me.  I wanted a catchy title.  And I didn't want it to say cancer.  Yet, here we are with "Anti Cancer Meditations."  Which is really ironic, because I know nothing about meditations.  Or maybe I do.  Hold on...let me Google it. 

Never mind, not so ironic.  I do know a thing or two about meditation.  I tend to express my considered thoughts on lots of subjects!  Ha!  Anyway...I was looking at a list of upcoming appointments, knowing that I had an echocardiogram scheduled, along with a port consult, a PET scan and chemo education.  But the title for my chemo education was unexpected and a little insightful...

Huh, anti cancer medication.  But everyone calls it chemo.  But I like the sound of anti cancer medication much better than I do chemo.    The connotation I get from chemo is feeling sick, losing hair, tired, etc.  And yes, those things may all happen. My train of thought eventually gets to the final destination...to the purpose of chemo...to kill cancer cells, but my initial feelings are of still of sickness and side effects.  So the phrase "anti cancer medication" is really changing my perspective.  For me, the connotation of anti cancer medication is one that starts with the positive...killing cancer cells.  Cancer...I'm against it (inside family joke).  When I hear anti cancer medication, my perspective changes to one of healing.  So, that's what you'll get from me now.  I hope.  I'm still a work-in-progress.  Still growing from all of this.

Anti Cancer.  Healing.  Meditations.